I haven't died. Yet. But I might.

This blog will live again. I promise.

My mom made me stop. Actually, angry calls from my mom on the phone made me stop. Despite my warnings and disclaimers she read anyhow and the predictable results (ie. a fan clogged due to shit hitting,) quickly caused me to second guess myself.

I've now decided, (seriously,) that I enjoy writing to the point where I want to do it all the time. Hopefully someday someone will pay me to do it. Until then, I'm going to do it on the internet. (Yes, we're still talking about writing. Any similarities to actual porn or artificial porn are probably unintentional. Probably.)

New material will commence "soon."

Also, I wanted to take a minute to address the "Anonymous" poster who's been leaving tidbits on my comments pages while I was on hiatus... Eat shit. I voted for Kerry. I have a girlfriend. I'm intelligent and a reasonably likable person.

I now know a few important things about you though:
1. You're fat.
2. Number 1 is all that matters, and as I've said in the past, nobody loves you.
3. If you're still reading this list you're fat AND enjoy being ridiculed, meaning you're a self-loathing fat person and one that probably needs help. I'd offer you help, but I don't want to. You got fat by yourself, so you go get help by yourself.